January 5, 2005
good vibes posted by couchtomato at 01:28 AM so here are my goals this year that i hope i accomplish: graduate. supposedly this feb. but stupidity gave me an additional term. so im still 3 units away from graduating. hopefully ill get my diploma this june. hirap 3-unit term. one subject lang. super stress to. have a band. here’s one of the impossible goals I have. its more of a dream actually. i remember playing in a band dati. i was the one doing the vocals. i was wearing a raccoon fur hat and eyeglasses, jumping wildly on stage, getting loud applause from the audience – it was the best natural high. write a song. i’ve been trying really hard to. put up an ad business. do you see those sidewalk shops that make those or my word na “signs”? those you would see on national highways? hindi ganun hehe. pero something like it like that. find a job i like. hopefully as a copywriter or a graphic designer. tapos art director. tapos after creative director. dream on pare. paint. its been a while since i held a paintbrush. i’ve done some paintings when i was a kid. i dream to have them exhibited someday. pag patay na ako. and hopefully magka-gf na. actually here’s another of the impossible goals e. yep. now you know how hopeless I am. ginawa ng dream ang paghanap ng girlfriend. i want to make this year happy. not that i wasn’t last year. i just want to concentrate more on the good things this time. we all have our own dramas to tell. but we also have our life ahead of us to live. so if you’re still pondering on the shadows of your dramatic bull – i suggest you go out and live life. we all deserve to be happy. a druglord friend from UP told me once, “skelar lang dude. free the bad vibes and just let things sink in and grow on you. taas ng amats mahn..” shuggie otis - freedom flight  3 flushed tomato |
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December 28, 2004
tuesdays with monj posted by couchtomato at 09:20 PM Maybe you're asking yourself where did I go wrong? what did I do..to make you change..your mind..completely. hehe. Yes, You are a good person, maybe good enough not to deserve all this pain and suffering your experiencing right now. But then again, you are a good person and that makes it easier for others to tamper with your feelings, be used or be ignored. Advice no. one: huwag mashado mabait. No matter what people think of our judgment towards the person we devote our affections to, (whether they say the person looks bad or the person’s not even worth your spit) I can say we are not blinded by the truth, we just see their brighter side and we prefer to see that side more often. We are not blind, we just happen to see things others can’t see. Advice no. two: love is blind? Wahaha. Love makes us see things differently or see the unseen. there are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try. I won’t expect you to understand that. Or even believe it, but trust me there are some loves that don’t go away. And maybe that makes them crazy, but we would all be lucky enough to end up with somebody who has a little of that insanity - someone who cherishes you forever. Whoever said that plenty of fish in the sea thing was wrong. Sometimes there’s only one fish. Trust me. Advice no. three: ewan ko. "its hurts". kasi di ba It always takes two to tango, say hello, do mano pow...you know. corny kow. If your walking on a one way street and If the moment passes u by. theres really nothing you can do about it. Sorry pal. but ill be happy to sympathize. Its hard to forget something you don’t want to forget. Its hard to replace something you don’t want to replace. Its hard to keep things that hurt. The road in front of you is clear. Would you take the road and just be friends or would you sit down and kill yourself to death with jealousy and pain? I suggest you walk the road and let the time make the answers for you. Advice no. four: Patience. Just wait. Things will come. What’s yours and gone will come back. - gulo ba? *tnx to densie for the title. |
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December 16, 2004
starlit december sky posted by couchtomato at 06:53 PM i hope you’re well and remember who this is. its bin a wyl snce we last spoke or dared to reminisce. id lyk to keep dis short so not to waste your time but iv bin down n out wid you still on my mind. it feels like years as i look back to what ive lost. minor phases of ignrance accmpanying mny lyns crossed. though ill swallow all my pride, i confess dat i ws wrong in suppressing thoughts of u n pretending i ws strong. nvr hav i forgotten the way our hands did linger n the innocence bhind r eyes n interlacing fingers. i beliv ive lost my purpose the day that i lost you. so scared to admt dat d void in me u wud snugly fit into. i understand if yer upset n refuse to reply but bfore u dcyd to throw ds down rmember our moment down that starlit december sky. red rabbit |
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December 16, 2004
Heavenward posted by couchtomato at 03:42 PM And I know I must not fear For pain and suffering Are but allies to me Broken wings I fall to the ground Limping helplessly I was found By someone whom I know of naught But with her soft touch I was unbound emotions flew and for once I knew that there’s something in this world - worth living within her presence there I stay and eternally stay - I will.. to protect her - I must.. Bleeding yet still fighting Purging lives so many yet still caring No more shall my life be dirt For all those painful memories I can simply forget with but a jerk I rise from the insanity of hell Unchained no more Laying in her arms, her presence so sweet A glimpse of her would be enough But to see the true smile she holds A smile so pure leaves me wordless. To all who may try to harm In war may I be torn I will fight with all my will My blood and soul I will gladly give Just for her to be safe and to live And if I may be at loss if I may lay beaten No matter in what may have swept Contented in what I have done As long as my solace lives For even in death I will still keep moving Into a direction I know she will A place not suitable for a man like me But I must move on For all she did will be in vain A place that is all and so hard For I shall go.. heavenward |
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December 15, 2004
taped amor posted by couchtomato at 01:12 PM its nice when we see things that remind us of our past like a video of us reciting a nursery rhyme on stage, our favorite lunchbox, photos of us dancing with fit blue pants with matching yellow belt. yiii baduy. kanina i was going tru our old stuff in the house and i saw an old cassette tape. siguro mga 20+ years old na yun. I tried to play it on our old cassette player. at nanlaki ang mata ko. what I heard was my younger mom’s voice reciting a poem for my dad with a romantic background music i cant recall. haha ang baduy. its amazing talaga what people do when theyre inlove. It was funny at first pero yung poem sobrang astig. I know my mom could write pero I didn’t know she wrote poems that good. I also do poems pero di ko forte yun. sabi nga nila one way to a woman’s heart is writing her poems. pero in my case – don’t even bother to ask hehe..and o ya i also found another tape..in it, was me..maybe 8 or 9..singing a whole new world - "shinin shimerin splendid" hehe kakahya. i was playing it with earphones the whole time. |
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September 27, 2004
under the lobo sun posted by couchtomato at 12:22 AM After a butt numbing three and half hours of drive, we arrived. The place was more of what I expected. It was a two-storey bahay kubo directly in front of the beach. The kubo had a veranda that granted a beautiful view of the ocean. "Daym how could I forget my camera!" We unloaded the things from the van and didn’t waste time to swim. Truth is I thought twice of running to the waters. I was a bit shy showing my new "MACHO" physique. Let just say, my body was not given enough time to prepare for this kind of situation. My appetite really had been uncontrollable these past few weeks. But when i saw how happy they were, i immediately trashed the idea. At around 5:30 PM, two fishermen offered us a boat ride. It was for me the highlight of the trip. I enjoyed every moment of it. The beauty of the place captivated me more when I was on the boat. We stopped at another beach and hunted for corals. On the way back we passed several lighted fish boats. It was like passing a small carnival in the ocean. It was wonderful. That night, we sang at the beach as we stargazed. I have never seen so many stars at night. We played patintero, got some pointers from Aling Esvi, the house keeper. We played cards, drank, and slept late. I guess the trip didn’t turn out bad even there were only 10 of us. It was fun. I hope we'll come back again next year. angels and demons |
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